Down but Never Out

In the past few months I have been stretched in ways I never knew I could be stretched. And I have been stressed in ways I never realized I could be either. And when I'm stressed, I have stomach problems. Needless to say, I've been having lots of stomach problems this month. I must transfer all my stress and tension into my neck, shoulders, and stomach - not that you really wanted to know this, but I think they are common stress symptoms for people out there. So I'm convinced it's not TMI (too much information). :) I've also been having a lot of "woe is me" attitude, in the sense of second-guessing myself, not knowing how I'm going to handle everything that's overwhelming, and just wanting to escape it all. My friend Monicca told me it was the ostrich syndrome. She was referring to one aspect of my life, but little does she know it was how I was feeling about almost all aspects of my life, save one.

BUT, although I may have been down, I am certainly not out. God has a way of helping you out of your darkness, through prayer, through loved ones, and through friends. And I have re-learned that lesson again, but in a more poignant way than ever. This week has been that slow climb out of whatever pit I was in, and today it culminated in an event I attended - a dissertation defense by someone I had gotten to know in the last year and a half as a student. Now I am excited again about what I'm doing, and determined to move on through my semester to achieve what it is I want to achieve. I guess sometimes you just need some reminders of why you are where you are as well as support for what you are doing. I have found it in God, through my parents, my boyfriend, my friends, and in the small ways I go about putting one foot in front of the other while trusting those steps to others. Shadows may still come and go, but in the end, I know there's always sunshine. And I am thankful.