Happy 2012 among other things
I just remembered I have a blog and a post is long overdue! Ha ha ha. Where has the time gone? My last post was a few days after I got married and already the holidays have come and gone; we're well into the new year; and by golly even the lunar new year has come and gone!! Whew! Welcome to the year of dragon!! :D
I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season! Despite both hubby and I taking turns getting sick, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family, a quiet New Year's Eve on our own, and a Lunar (Chinese) New Year meal with my parents out in California. And in between I have been trying to organize (as we moved right before the wedding), write my dissertation, write thank-you cards (sooooo late with all that), and just enjoy being married. And before long, we have been married almost 3 months! Boy time flies!
Sometimes the wedding seems almost a dream. Planning a wedding made things so hectic and anxiety-provoking, on top of everything else that I had to deal with; and now it seems that I have extra time on my hands (weellll.....not really but my mind seems to be a bit freer, hence the perception of extra time?). In any event, I do miss all the hoopla (shock!) and can't wait for some of my other close girlfriends to get married so I can join in their hoopla. Ha ha ha ha. But I must admit that there is some sense of life becoming very anti-climactic post-marriage. It's like you're in the limelight for a while and then you're done with no easing into life after the limelight. And the only thing to show for it is that you have a partner that you'll be going to bed with and waking up with for the rest of your life as you know it. But in all seriousness, it's not all that anti-climactic and devoid of happiness. :) I'd like to think of the wedding and all the hoopla that surrounded it as the introduction into a beautiful new adventure. Sure all the hustle and bustle of the actual wedding has come and gone, and we cherish and relive those memories very often (after all, it's only been 3 months!!); but there's the post-marital bliss that follows and hopefully will continue till the end of our lives on this earth. And that is definitely something I am truly joyous about and thankful for. And to know that I get to spend every day for the rest of my life with someone who seems to be made just for me, and for whom I seem to be made, makes life after the wedding limelight infinitely more joyous than the wedding. It's like how graduation (or commencement) seems to usher in the beginning of a new adventure. Weddings usher in the beginning of the rest of your life. And as such, though seemingly anti-climactic, I think they bring us into a new place. I hope this is all making sense.
Amidst all of this, the questions never tend to cease. Questions like:
Sometimes the wedding seems almost a dream. Planning a wedding made things so hectic and anxiety-provoking, on top of everything else that I had to deal with; and now it seems that I have extra time on my hands (weellll.....not really but my mind seems to be a bit freer, hence the perception of extra time?). In any event, I do miss all the hoopla (shock!) and can't wait for some of my other close girlfriends to get married so I can join in their hoopla. Ha ha ha ha. But I must admit that there is some sense of life becoming very anti-climactic post-marriage. It's like you're in the limelight for a while and then you're done with no easing into life after the limelight. And the only thing to show for it is that you have a partner that you'll be going to bed with and waking up with for the rest of your life as you know it. But in all seriousness, it's not all that anti-climactic and devoid of happiness. :) I'd like to think of the wedding and all the hoopla that surrounded it as the introduction into a beautiful new adventure. Sure all the hustle and bustle of the actual wedding has come and gone, and we cherish and relive those memories very often (after all, it's only been 3 months!!); but there's the post-marital bliss that follows and hopefully will continue till the end of our lives on this earth. And that is definitely something I am truly joyous about and thankful for. And to know that I get to spend every day for the rest of my life with someone who seems to be made just for me, and for whom I seem to be made, makes life after the wedding limelight infinitely more joyous than the wedding. It's like how graduation (or commencement) seems to usher in the beginning of a new adventure. Weddings usher in the beginning of the rest of your life. And as such, though seemingly anti-climactic, I think they bring us into a new place. I hope this is all making sense.
Amidst all of this, the questions never tend to cease. Questions like:
- How's married life?
- Are you going to have children?
- We're newlyweds; of course married life is fantastic (and we will work to continue to make it that way 10, 20, 30 years down the road). But it doesn't mean my life prior to marriage was a dreary one if you're wondering how marriage has magically changed my life. Yes, it is a change, and yes, it is a positive change; but no, it is not a problem-solver, and no, it is not an instantaneous cure to any emotional maladies (did I have any prior to getting married anyway?).
- Just because people get married does not mean their primary goal is to have children. Marriage shouldn't be about children all the time; marriage should be about two people committing their lives to each other and become partners in building a better world around them (or something akin to that). It is not about procreating for everyone. Yes, I know it is important and there are people who feel strongly about it; and I think it's wonderful. But no, it is not why I personally got married. So we are still debating about whether or not we should have children.
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